Play Fair and Share

~ Written by Jim Lloyd ~

A couple weeks ago, the leader of the current regime asserted that no business owner, no successful person accomplished that success on his own… that he used public roads…that he took advantage of public infrastructure…that he received a public education… and therefore really did not deserve the fruits of what really were not his labors.

This Marxist viewpoint justifies his communist philosophy that a strong central authority should take what it feels it should and give to those less fortunate. Well, in watching the Olympics, I (and a few others as well) became inspired by his thoughts. Hey there you little sixteen year old gymnast, you really didn’t win that gold medal. You used public roads, bridges, schools, and education your whole life. So WE won it. Not you. Same for you, the swimmer who became the most medaled athlete in Olympic history. Those are not your medals. They’re ours! We all won them together. We’re as responsible as you. And that prize money from the Olympic Committee… I want my share! You should be paying your fair share and not keeping it all for yourself.

I should like to propose a change in our whole philosophy of the Olympic games. As athletes from the new hope and change socialist America, you should compete not for your own glory, but for the glory of the regime. It should become law that you must give you medals to people who, for example, weigh five hundred pounds. It’s not their fault they’re in that shape. And that prize money. It should be given to those who’ve never held a job. After all… those tiny unemployment checks aren’t nearly enough cash for a decent car, wide screen TV, or premium cell phone. It’s just not right that you think you should keep the medals and the cash!

This new hope and change America…I think I finally understand it. It makes so much sense. And with this philosophy, the regime leader should be a shoo-in for re-election. And speaking of elections, how long are we going to keep that old-fashioned political system? Things are going so well, why would we want to change anything?